Encouragement is the Last Thing They Need
by Absolutely Unusual
Summary: Museum Heist OT3 Artemis/Wally/Dick Mostly AU one-shots. "Of course they should have known that telling Dick just how much his teasing got to them would only serve as encouragement."
1. Dat Ass

This is what I get from spending too much time looking up my favorite OT3 on DeviantArt.

If I do continue it will probably all be unrelated somewhat AU one shots.

**_A One, A Two, And Here. We. Go!_**

Wally West had decided years ago that puberty was a bitch. If not for the fact that he had come out of it looking hella fine (if he did say so himself), he would have been perfectly happy to tell puberty to screw itself and leave him alone.

It just wasn't _fair._

Because while he had gotten all the customary zits and other various and almost always highly embarrassing problems associated with growing up, _some people_ that he happened to know had skipped the awkward and gone straight to... well...

"At the risk of sounding like a pervert, i.e., _Wally_, I'd just like to take the time to appreciate the view before me and say; day-um!"

Fucking Artemis. Never mind that he was starring at Dick's upward facing backside as well while the acrobat poked his head into the freezer. Never mind the fact that his heart sped up and he could feel his face burning when Dick finally turned around with a smirk that _screamed_ that he had given them a show on purpose.

The blatant, verging-on-sexual-harassment-smart-ass-leering was his thing!

"You alright there, Wally?" Oh Megan, you beautiful, considerate per- "Artemis actually beat you to the sexual harassment this time." Son of a BITCH.

He smacked his face down on the counter, then turned and tugged on Artemis's pony tail when he heard her laughing.

"You've been spending too much time with Artemis, Miss M," Dick said, sliding around the counter to drape one arm over Wally's shoulder and another over Artemis's. Wally smirked when she shivered and she stuck her tongue out at him in response.

How childish. Wally was far more mature than she was, and Dick was about to refute this. There was no way his bro would let the girls get away with their affronts to his gentle-manly nature, he was sure- "Besides, Wally can look as much as he wants." Dick pecked him on the cheek, giving Arty's pony tail another friendly tug. She swatted his arm away but that didn't change the fact that they both knew how much she enjoyed it.

Well. Okay then. If he insisted...

"Don't make promises you can't keep man." Dick was still two years younger than he and Artemis, and damn was it hard to forget, even if he was the most mature at times.

Artemis sighed as M'Gann flew out of the room. Probably to go "fix the bikes" with Supey again. At least the trio still in the kitchen didn't make silly excuses when they wanted to be naked in the "fun way" as she liked to put it. Not that there was any of that happening yet. Woe-to-her.

Dick frowned. "I always keep my promises."

Artemis and Wally shared a look. A look that involved at least one eyebrow raised on each forehead and some lip biting that quite clearly said "We're superheroes. It's an occupational hazard." Dick withdrew his hands and pulled a stool over to sit between them. He always liked to be in the middle. If he were to overanalyze it he would say that it made it easier for him to protect both of them at all times.

"Fine," he huffed. "But you guys still see me as a puny kid. I have to do _something_ to get your attention."

Wally starred at Dick incredulously and Artemis burst out laughing.

"Shortpants, Kid Hormones has to go take a cold shower every time you start doing your stretches in the gym and I have _not _been shy in my appreciation."

"Hey!" Wally yelped indignantly. One time and she never lets it go.

"Well why don't you guys ever come to me? I saw you go help him out in the showers!" Dick stated accusingly.

Ah well that was true... Wallly zoned out for a moment remembering what had been a great ending to a horrible day. It had started out with a nut job with a laser gun and gone downhill from there. And when they got back to the cave, thoroughly exhausted after literally leveling half a small town, Black Canary had given them extra training as punishment. Wally had certainly woken up when Artemis shoved him against them bathroom wall and attacked him. With her mouth.

Heheh...

"Hello? Earth to Kid Dork?" Wally nearly fell off his stool when Arty snapped her fingers.

"Wah-? Oh yeah! Dick, you need to stop trying so hard to drive us crazy because it's working. Way. Too. Well."

Dick stared at him for a moment before spinning around and jumping of the chair. He started walking out the door before turning around with a smirk on his face. "You sure you want me to stop? 'Cause I have this new stretch I've just been dying to show you guys."

Wally groaned and Artemis face-palmed. Of course they should have known that telling him just how much his teasing got to them would only serve as encouragement.

* * *

** I can never get enough of Rob and Arty and occasionally Wally just being trolls. Hopefully any future chapters will be more interesting. This was established OT3, if you couldn't tell. Wally and Arty were being mindful of Dick's young...er...ness... because Ihavenocluewhy they're nice or something. **

**Suggesting on humor, plots, how to be a better writer, how to achieve eternal happiness, how to make excellent cookies... All are appreciated!**


	2. Nerds

**Because I just learned why Wally/Artemis/Dick is called "Museum Heist".**

**In a museum heist you Rob the WallArt. Heheheh... Geddit?**

**I may or may not have had to google some of the pickup lines... sorry it's short. I always find the geekier pickup lines hilarious.**

**_Ready, Set, Go!_**

* * *

"If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?"

"That was weak, man."

"Like you could do better."

"Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you."

"You're such a dork."

"I wish I was your math homework 'cause then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on a desk."

"... Touché."

"If I was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes."

"..."

"..."

"... Dick... did Artemis just...?"

"I think she did..."

"What? Like you two are the only smart ones?

"You googled it didn't you?"

"Shutup."

* * *

**Thanks to my reviewers and followers. I update as inspiration hits, so if Young Justice ever comes back from its one millionth hiatus, you can probably expect a few more of these. In the mean time... meh. **

**This chapter is too short. T_T **


	3. Wally in Love

Someday I might write something actually set in canon...just not today.

Most of the run on sentences are intentional, but I crave in put on everything from grammar to sentence structure to spelling mistakes.

And please excuse the cliched nature of this post. I suck at writing fluff.

* * *

Wally West knows he's smart. One doesn't recreate a lab experiment that gives them superpowers before they're thirteen by being an idiot.

Sometimes though, he has doubts. Why would anyone who wasn't an idiot actually choose to spend their time, much less be in a _committed relationship _with the two sassiest, most cynical, generally-gets-their-kicks-from-trolling-him-EVERY-freaking-day, ninjas on the team?

(The last one isn't actually that much of a problem, because when they're on missions and not using their ninja abilities to scare the shit out of him its actually quite useful. And... you know... the flexibility.)

Don't get him wrong. He likes (maybe even loves- and that's a little too frightening to think about right this instant so let's just tuck that away for a little bit to revisit much, MUCH later) Artemis and Dick. He loves the way he and Dick are still the bestest friends anyone could ask for even though now they get to do things like kissing, and cuddling, and maybe even a little more. (Artemis is actually the most masculine of the three of them but she thinks thats sexist and its not like he'd ever admit it out loud anyways so it just goes unspoken even though it's true.) He loves the way Artemis makes innuendos over comms and then somehow always manages to look either him or Dick in the eyes no matter where they are immediately after, like she knows what it does to them and loves making them squirm.

Wally loves that he was the first one Dick trusted enough to reveal his secret identity, even though it was still against Batman's rules.

Wally loves that Artemis let her hair down around them for the first time after he told once how beautiful he thought it was. (It doesn't matter that she put it right back up after he teased her because she still wears it down sometimes and even lets him run his fingers through it when they're sitting next to each other on the couch.)

He loves that Dick had no idea what it does to him when he takes his time stretching in the gym. He loves that he takes even longer now that that he does know.

He loves that Artemis has never been jealous or tried to interfere with his friendship with Dick and that she was the one who suggested including him in their relationship at the very beginning.

He loves that they've both been through so much and never show it- except when they're all together after a mission that's gone south and maybe there weren't any psychical causalities but sometimes the bad guys know just where to hit you so the sting doesn't go away. He loves how he's the one they come to after they've had a nightmare. He loves that they depend on him and know instinctively that he'll never turn them away.

He loves that Dick kisses like the acrobat he is; doing the most amazing things with his tongue that drive him and Artemis insane. Artemis kisses like the fighter she is: passion and ferocity and sometimes she uses her teeth to leave his lips feeling bruised. Dick is chaste and Artemis isn't- except when Dick decides to be filthy and Artemis decides to take it slow (usually its a good ten minutes before he can stop grinning after he's made out with either one of them- let alone both). Watching them kiss each other is the only the thing he's going to ask for on his birthday.

Wally loves how none of them ever have to pretend to be something they're not when they're together, and seeing them in their cover identities when he stops by Gotham Academy nearly kills him.

But when they saw him scuffing the toe of his sneakers against the ground outside the gate and trying not to draw too much attention to himself- and immediately the (metaphorical) masks fall to the floor and suddenly he's being glomped on both sides-

Well, maybe he is in love with them.

So even though Artemis s_till_ calls him Baywatch (and probably always will), and Dick still disappears from time to time without a word on missions, and they both get way to much joy from wiping the floor with him in training, Wally knows that he really wouldn't want it any other way.

Now he just has to tell them.

He enters the cave through the zeta tube and immediately runs to the kitchen. Which is empty- because Artemis and Dick only venture into the kitchen to find him, or when the whole team is there, or when it's an actual meal time.

The next place Wally checks, while munching on a club sandwich that didn't exist two second ago, is the gym. Aqualad is scrambling around trying to avoid the flying projectiles M'Gann is launching at him telekinetically from the ceiling. Neither of them have seen Dick but Artemis is in her spare room.

He walks through the halls at a normal speed because he wants to take all the time he can to think about what to say to them. How do you tell two people that they mean the universe to you and you don't think you'll ever want to be with anyone else, Ever, Period?

The alarm goes off right as he's about to knock on Artemis's door and she nearly runs him over as she sprints out, still putting on her uniform.

"Wally?" she asks, startled, "Why were you standing outside my door?"

He's momentarily distracted by the fact that she's tightening her thigh holster as she says this. Her eyes dart to his mouth as he licks his lips. "I... uh..."

"Team , report to the main entrance of the cave." At this point isn't sure whether's he's pissed or grateful for Batman's cockblocking skills.

Artemis brushes past him, saying they'll talk later. He follows, having been in his suit since he left home a couple minutes after coming to the revelation that those panicky, heart-racing feelings where it seems like he's just downed a triple-shot of espresso (and boy, was that not something he never wanted to actually do EVER again) he always got around his boyfriend and girlfriend were actually his body trying to catch his brain up to the fact that he was seriously head over heels for these two people.

He realized he'd been spacing out when Robin (where the hell had he come from) kept repeating his name.

"What?" He jolted, looking at the concerned looks he was getting from everyone on the bioship (when had they gotten on the bioship?).

"You okay, KF? You seem really out of it." He wanted to smooth out the crease that always occurred between Dick's eyebrows when he was consternated.

"I'm fine!" He snapped, a little too quickly. Dick's eyebrows raised. Why was he panicking anyways? Even if none of them have said the L-word yet, he _knows_ that Artemis and Dick care about him. Worst case scenario, they would still be friends and teammates... right?

"Are you hungry, Wally? Did you bring any snacks with you?"

"I'm fine, M'Gann, really," he said, already munching on a power bar, "Thanks."

Aqualad didn't comment but Wally could've sworn Superboy rolled his eyes. Artemis nudged him with her toe while Dick put a hand on his shoulder. Both looked like they wanted to ask more questions, but it didn't matter because Miss Martian was already landing the ship and they were turning on stealth gear before heading out into the dark jungle.

* * *

"Ow. OW! Take it easy!" Wally was in pain. It wasn't serious pain, compared to some other missions that he didn't like to think about, but watching your boyfriend sow you up like a rag doll never feels all that great.

"Well maybe if you're a little more careful next time you won't need fourty stitches in your shoulder!" Dick retorted hotly, cutting the needle off the string and dabbing him with antiseptic.

"You have no idea how lucky you are that venus fly trap wasn't poisonous Wally," Artemis is sitting with her legs and arms tightly crossed on the cot next to his. Her body language betrays how furious and worried she is. "You know how Poison Ivy operates. This could have been so much worse."

Wally is sitting with the top half of his torn and bloodstained suit pooled around his waist after another (mostly) successful mission against the Injustice League. The gash runs from his collar bone, over his shoulder, and all the way to his shoulder blade. It's deep enough and wide enough that he needed stitches, but not enough that he's going to pass out from blood loss. More than anything he's pissed that he won't be able to go on the next couple of missions because-

"I had too!" He yells at Artemis, "You didn't see the overgrown weed coming and if I hadn't been there-"

"I would have been fine, Wally! I can handle myself!" She retorts angrily.

"You can't throw yourself in the line of fire every time it looks like one of us may be in danger, Wally. We've all talked about this." Dick adds, sitting next to him with a hand on his thigh.

They have talked about this. The first time was when, a week after they'd all gotten together, Dick had drawn unnecessary attention to himself to buy Wally enough time to escape his handcuffs. In the freezing lab of some crackpot scientist who'd decided to dissect a speedster, Wally had never been so scared when all he could hear in the dark was Dick's cackling and the distant sound of gunfire. Correction: he had never been so scarred when everything suddenly went quiet.

After that nightmare the three decided not to let their emotions get in the way on missions.

And then Artemis had jumped in front of the bullet aimed at Dick a month later (thank goodness Zatanna had been on that mission.)

"That's rich coming from you two." he snarls

The both shout something about unnecessary risk taking.

"You guys can't ask me not to risk everything to save the people I love!" He retorts angrily.

"..." Dicks palm slackens momentarily before becoming like a vice on his thigh and Artemis finally raises her gaze from the floor to look at him with eyes.

It takes an embarrassingly long time time for the speedster to realize that he doesn't have to worry about telling them his feelings anymore.

"I... just... I didn't want to risk you getting hurt." He looks back and forth between Artemis and Dick, who are exchanging glances as well. "Either of you. You're both... the best thing that's ever happened to me."

And suddenly he's being enveloped in hugs and everyone is shaking but no one is crying. He winces and Dick seems to realize that stitches should not have pressure put on them, so he slackens his grip but doesn't let go. Wally is glad he doesn't let go. Artemis puts her head on his good shoulder.

"We can't stand you getting hurt either Wally."

"You mean way too much to us for some reason Baywatch."

Everyone is smiling and almost laughing and he knows that they'll all be more careful in the future, but eventually they'll slip up again.

In the end, they're always going to put each other's lives above their own, which isn't entirely good for their health, but he pities any villain who targets the one of them, because the remaining two would go to the ends of the earth to protect the other.


End file.
